Excerpts from the promotion of Steve Harvey's book 'Act Like A Lady,

Think Like A Man', Oprah's 2/27/9 show, where he was a 15-minute guest.
He said the book is the only thing he initially did for free, as a gift
to women. He did not expect in his wildest dreams that it would make the
'best-seller' list:

"Every man has a plan. A man does not lock eyes with you from across the
room or approach you just to talk, he has a plan. He saw something he
wants. This attempt at conversation is to find out how much it will cost
him. It is not only about money, but other things like how much time
must be invested, what does she want from me, what are her standards.
Because men will rise to the occasion, no matter how high the bar is
set, it's just that women keep lowering the bar, lowering their
standards. Women are complicated, they keep talking to each other, but
men are very simple. Men need only three things: support, loyalty and
the cookie."

He says if a man introduces you as his friend or just says your name,
with no title - you have nothing. Men are very protective, they mark
their territory. If a man loves you, he's willing to profess it. After
a while, he'll give you a title - his woman, his lady, his fiancé, his
baby mama, some title. If after three months he is still introducing
you by your name only, you have nothing.. The man who truly has feelings
for you will give you a title. This is his way of letting everyone
within the sound of his voice know he is proud of being with you and he
has plans for you.

Every man has a plan. He tells of one the times his father-in-law was
visiting and interrogated the boyfriend of one of his twins.. They had
dated four or five times and he asks what are his plan for his
granddaughter. After stumbling and stuttering, he finally mumbles out
that they are just kicking it. So Steve says, that's cool. Let's just
bring my daughter in now and inform her that she is just being "kicked"
- that you two are just "kicking it" and let's see if that's what she
just wants to do. They broke up the next day.

Steve says men are fishermen, either for sport or for food. Women must
determine which kind of fish they want to be. If you don't want to be
continuously hooked and thrown back, just for sport, you must present
your standards, you must stop lowering them, you must present your
requirements. Then if you are hooked, the man knows you are about
business. In other words, when you're hooked, he must know that you are
eventually going home with him, not back into the water. It is the
woman that is in control - of everything. The man cannot hold your hand
unless you let him, he cannot kiss you unless you let him and he
certainly cannot make love to you unless you let him. Now, with all that
power, why do you suddenly relinquish it, just because you want a guy to
accept you? Keep your standards where they are! Say to him, if you want
to be with me, this is what it takes. He can hook you, but he should not
be able to reel you in without meeting your standards.

A woman SKYPE's in via satellite with a question for Steve: "When
should a woman have sex the first time in a new relationship?" Steve
cites, as an example, when he once worked on the assembly line at Ford
Motor Co., where there was a probation period for new employees. Like a
lot of large companies, only after 90 days do you qualify for a benefit
package - before allowed to get dental, medical, get my eyes checked.
Within those days I was being checked out - whether I was easy to get
along with, to work with, whether I was reliable, showing up on time, if
I was worthy. Then, and only then, do you get the benefits. Why do
women, who possess the greatest benefits package of all, pass it out so
quickly to unworthy guys? Slow down ladies, you cannot run us off, if
we want you! And know that men are aware of the fact that you change
the rules - when you are desperate, when you think there is a shortage
of good men out there. And we play on it. We created terms like 'gold
digger' so you don't ask for money; the term 'nagging', so that you
don't badger us. We created these terms so that you will require less of
us. God has given all women this incredible gift called intuition. Get
in a guy's face, look in his eyes, use that intuition! 'Old School' is
not dead, chivalry is not dead, it is just not being required anymore.

My Girl Jennifer!!

Someone sent me a email full of Jennifer pictures.

These two happen to be my favorite out of the bunch.

She is working it!!

A YOUNG BLACK WOMAN'S GUIDE TO SURVIVAL

10 THINGS YOUR MOTHER SHOULD HAVE TOLD YOU
Written by: Dana Orr,



10. BE SELECTIVE IN FRIENDSHIPS.

Friendship is not charity, it's a give-and-take relationship. Your friends should be people you love, admire and respect. Don't be afraid to expand, or change your circle of friends. As you get older, you may head in a different direction than those you once considered your 'best friends forever'. As you evolve and mature, you may grow apart from friends who no longer fulfill you - it's ok! Hold this person in your heart, but be true to yourself when devoting time, energy and emotion to anyone you seriously consider a 'friend'.


9. RE-INVENT YOURSELF WHEN NECESSARY.

Self-reinvention is a way to constantly reflect and assess your goals and priorities in your personal, academic and professional life. The concept of self-reinvention allows you to reconsider your lifestyle and, at any given moment, change a particular course of action. The beauty of this process is that you don't have to beat yourself up about behaviour you consider undesirable. You should actually feel great that you have enough sense to realize the error of your ways (whatever they may be), and can spontaneously commit to change. Congratulations - you just solved a problem!


8. PROTECT YOURSELF.

HIV/AIDS is the #1 killer of black women ages 19-27 in America . You are not corny or lame if you insist on an HIV test before having sex with someone. In fact, you're stupid to give up responsibility for your health and put your life in someone else's hands. Please DO NOT FALL FOR the age-old trick: 'Look at me - what am I supposed to do now?!' All men masturbate. Politely tell your partner that he should focus on 'self- love' until you're certain that he deserves to enter your temple.


7. JEALOUSY IS A WASTED EMOTION.

People who love themselves and recognize their worth are unable to be jealous of others. Why? You should be so preoccupied with loving yourself and changing what you don't like, you have no time to worry about what others are doing. Being jealous of someone is a waste of energy. You cannot control other people and the choices they make, or the luck they have. Weak people let other's circumstances affect their self-love and/or self-worth. Resist the temptation to be envious, as it will get you nowhere. If anything, let other people motivate you to achieve certain goals for yourself.


6. CARRY YOURSELF LIKE A LADY.

Embrace that which makes you a woman, and by all means, take advantage of the privileges that we have. Force men around you to treat you with the respect they would their mother, aunt or sister. Insist that your doors be opened for you, order your food first in a restaurant, and sit in the front seat if you are the only female in the car. There is nothing wrong with being 'pleasantly demanding'. Along with the privilege of womanhood comes a certain responsibility. Being a true 'lady' means you exhibit manners that would make your grandmother proud, your clothes are tasteful and appropriate for your age, and your hair and nails are always clean. These little things make a big difference in n how you are viewed by outsiders, and the quality of men that you attract.


5. KEEP UP WITH CURRENT EVENTS.

Staying in touch with what's going on in the world is very important. Not only is it important to be aware of national and global issues, it makes you a lot more interesting to others because you always have something to talk about. It doesn't take much to watch the news, read the newspaper online, or buy an issue of TIME magazine or Newsweek. Don't forget - parents and teachers are a great source of information on current events, and would love to have a conversation with you about something 'serious'.


4. Travel.

Do you have a passport? If not, get one. Before you are saddled with the responsibilities of a job and a family, take advantage of your freedom and travel. Instead of buying a new outfit, buy a plane ticket. See other parts of the world and observe other cultures. More importantly, have fun! Plan a trip with a friend to a social event in another city, a beach on an island, or a city in a foreign country. Capture your memories with photos or in a diary (or a blog). You will cherish them forever.


3. Be Proud To Be Black.

Black culture and heritage is based on strength, perseverance, and rich talents. You should have an overwhelming sense of cultural pride - as black people, we are so very special. Don't EVER feel as if you aren't equal to another person simply because you're black. If you have any question as to the importance of black people to our society, or how smart, beautiful, talented, funny and fascinating we are, start reading. Watch old movies. Read plays. Go see plays. Buy tickets for dance and musical performances. Seek opportunities to study academic topics involving, or related to, black people. Talk to your relatives that lived through some of the historical events you've heard about. Get on the Internet and study people with whom you're familiar. Keep in mind, black pride doesn't mean exclusion of others. It is most impressive when you seek to educate other cultures about the beauty and greatness of being black.


2. Have a Cause.

As long as you're here, it is your duty as a human being to help make the world a better place. Let your natural talents and passion lead you to an issue that keeps your attention, and to which you can commit your time and money. Get involved with groups that already exist. If your particular cause is new or unique, start your own group and make your friends join. Helping others is an easy way to feel good about yourself, and invest in the future of your community.


1. Love Yourself.

This is #1 and most important, yet challenging, mission to accomplish. Self-love is critical to survival at any age, and may be quite a personal journey. Loving yourself means recognizing, developing and honouring a sense of self-worth. Loving yourself means you have zero tolerance for anyone or anything that doesn't love you and respect you. Loving yourself also means you must treat yourself well, simply because no one else will do it for you

I Think This Applies To You

I Think This Applies To You

A good woman is proud of herself. She respects herself and others. She is aware of who she is. She neither seeks definition from the person she is with, nor does she expect them to read her mind. She is quite capable of articulating her needs. A good woman is hopeful. She is strong enough to make all her dreams come true. She knows love, therefore she gives love. She recognizes that her love has great value and must be reciprocated. If her love is taken for granted, it soon disappears. A good woman has a dash of inspiration, a dabble of endurance. She knows that she will, at times, have to inspire others to reach their God given potentials.

A good woman knows her past, understands her present and moves toward the future.

A good woman knows God. She knows that in God, the world can be her playground, but without God she will just be played. A good woman does not live in fear of the future because of her past. Instead, she understands that her life experiences are merely lessons, meant to bring her closer to self knowledge and unconditional self love.

Sweetest Email Message!

I have NEVER met this man, but we have been email buddies for about 5+ years now. We have been conversating about how my Valentine's Day went... or lack there of... Look at his response:

"Well no matter what my Lovely you can always have me as a valentine, and now that I know your Birthday is Friday, I may not be your man, but I will make sure you my beautiful lady get something. I will never understand how men never appreciate the beautiful flowers that they have."

What really moved me was this statement: "I will never understand how men never appreciate the beautiful flowers they have." He made me go into a "full bloom" when I read that!!

Online friends can be better than the real ones..... LOL!

>>Part 2!

"I see, I am flattered that you liked some of my statement. But what I spoke is truth. I know people and hell, I may even be one, who have the most beautiful women and then something happens and the love is lost, or cast aside for what? For want of two allegedly mature individual not being able to sort out their differences without one feeling they lost.

In a way I am glad that my ex and I can still communicate they way we do. there is no hate. Just an understanding that we have different views on things and paths that we must travel."

The Four Agreements

The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz

1. Be Impeccable With Your Word
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

2. Don't Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.

3. Don't Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

4. Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.

Keyshia Cole - I Remember

There is a part of this song that hits close to my heart: For the rest of my life, I promise myself I Will love me first GENUINELY.....

Keyshia Cole I Remember Lyrics

OOOhh yeah oh yeah
Oooh, remember
Oooohh remember, don't wanna know

Where were you, when I said I loved you?
And where were you, when I cried at night?
Waiting up, couldn't sleep without you
Thinking of, all the times we shared

I remember when my heart broke
I remember when I gave up loving you
My heart couldn't take no more of you
I was sad and lonely

I remember when I walked out
I remember when I screamed I hated you
But somehow deep inside, still loving you, sad and lonely

No one knew, all the pain I went through
All the love, I saved deep in my heart for you
DIDN'T KNOW WHERE I WOULD GO, WHERE I WOULD BE
But you made me leave,
and plus my heart it just
It just kept telling me so

I remember when my heart broke
I remember when I gave up loving you
My heart couldn't take no more of you,

I was sad and lonely
I remember when I walked out
I remember when I said I hated you
But somehow deep inside, still loving you, so sad and lonely

There was nowhere else to go, oh
Nobody else, to turn to, no
For the rest of my life,
I promise myself I
Will love me first
GENUINELY

I remember when my heart broke
I remember when I gave up loving you
My heart couldn't take no more of you
I was sad and lonely

I remember when I walked out
I remember when I said I hated you
But somehow deep inside, still loving you, sad and lonely
I remember when I walked out
I remember when I gave up loving you
My heart couldn't take no more of you
so sad and lonely

I remember when I stormed out
I remember when I gave up loving you,
I was sad and lonely

Diva-tude Attitude Check one, Check two!

My Goals

Spiritually: Have a better relationship with God
Action plan: Read my bible more

Relationally: Actually I need to step back from this for a minute
Action plan: I need to sit back and see what's really going on here... and make some adjustments

Physically: Lose weight (15 pounds so far)
Action plan: Continue with WW and hitting the gym

Professionally: Build my real estate client database
Action plan: Hand out more cards and attend networking events

Financially: Increase my savings
Action plan: Stop shopping (Lord HELP ME in this area!)

My first priority is building my savings. I have grand plans and I need to fund this PLAN.

My greatest motivation is my mom. She is so proud of her baby and what I have accomplished. But she has always been my source of inspiration.

My greatest reward will be one day being totally debt free and live life like it is GOLDEN; spiritually and financially!

Someone.....

I am really digging this one! The bottom line is I have to learn....

Someone can love you, but you make yourself happy.
Someone can teach you, but you must apply what you learn.
Someone can coach you, but you must win the game.
Someone can give you an opportunity, but you must show up capable and prepared.
Someone can tell you truth or lies, but you must learn discernment.
Someone can tempt you, but you must learn discipline.
Someone can offer you advice, but you must learn to trust your own inner knowing.
Someone can be selfish and withhold love, but you must learn how to give.
Someone can pity you, but you must learn to bear your own sorrow.
Someone can reject and leave you, but you must learn to feel whole.
Someone can ignore you, but you must see your own value and worth.
Someone can help you, but you must learn to do for self.
Someone can hold a grudge, but you must learn how to forgive.
Someone can show you a new way, but you must want the change.
Someone can offer you love, but you must feel worthy of receiving love.
Someone can encourage you, but you must motivate yourself.

Diva Confession....

Dear heavenly Father,

Forgive me for the times I choose to go my own way and give in to what my flesh demands. Help me to yield to Your Spirit more and more each day. I trust You to lead me to the joy and fulfillment I desire so deeply. Most of all, let my ultimate peace and satisfaction come from knowing I have been pleasing to You.

In Jesus’ name,

Amen

Diva Confessions of the day...

I will look at the entire scope of my life and approach each level of my spirit with the dedication it deserves. I will choose to honor God by being a complete picture of how He created me to function.

In order to do this, I will now apply the spiritual gifts have not been applying in order to help me increase my faith & understanding in areas of my life I cannot control.

Diva Confession for the day... and comment

I can go forth in the assurance that God's plans for my life are certain and true-they will come to pass as I walk in cooperation with Him. In order to receive all that He has for me, I will open my hands and let go of hopelessness in order to focus on fulfilling what God has created for me and called me to do.

The questions in this book are very hard for me to answer. I am not used to reveling myself in this manner... even if it is only me reading my answers. One question I honestly could not answer: "What area of your life has given you the greatest sense of significance?" This scares me and also brings up another question I have a hard time answering: "What is my purpose in life?"

I pray that when I am finished with this book I will be able to answer both....

Diva-tudes...

I am currently reading this book by Michelle McKinney Hammond: Diva-tudes; Divine Wisdom for living, loving and overcoming... It is actually a workbook that I feel will help me grow personally and spiritually.

This is my confession for today:

Today is a new day. The past no longer counts as I create a new present by giving my future to God and agreeing with His divine plan for me. I will be begin by erasing all negative thoughts and doubts in my regards to my singleness.