A YOUNG BLACK WOMAN'S GUIDE TO SURVIVAL

10 THINGS YOUR MOTHER SHOULD HAVE TOLD YOU
Written by: Dana Orr,



10. BE SELECTIVE IN FRIENDSHIPS.

Friendship is not charity, it's a give-and-take relationship. Your friends should be people you love, admire and respect. Don't be afraid to expand, or change your circle of friends. As you get older, you may head in a different direction than those you once considered your 'best friends forever'. As you evolve and mature, you may grow apart from friends who no longer fulfill you - it's ok! Hold this person in your heart, but be true to yourself when devoting time, energy and emotion to anyone you seriously consider a 'friend'.


9. RE-INVENT YOURSELF WHEN NECESSARY.

Self-reinvention is a way to constantly reflect and assess your goals and priorities in your personal, academic and professional life. The concept of self-reinvention allows you to reconsider your lifestyle and, at any given moment, change a particular course of action. The beauty of this process is that you don't have to beat yourself up about behaviour you consider undesirable. You should actually feel great that you have enough sense to realize the error of your ways (whatever they may be), and can spontaneously commit to change. Congratulations - you just solved a problem!


8. PROTECT YOURSELF.

HIV/AIDS is the #1 killer of black women ages 19-27 in America . You are not corny or lame if you insist on an HIV test before having sex with someone. In fact, you're stupid to give up responsibility for your health and put your life in someone else's hands. Please DO NOT FALL FOR the age-old trick: 'Look at me - what am I supposed to do now?!' All men masturbate. Politely tell your partner that he should focus on 'self- love' until you're certain that he deserves to enter your temple.


7. JEALOUSY IS A WASTED EMOTION.

People who love themselves and recognize their worth are unable to be jealous of others. Why? You should be so preoccupied with loving yourself and changing what you don't like, you have no time to worry about what others are doing. Being jealous of someone is a waste of energy. You cannot control other people and the choices they make, or the luck they have. Weak people let other's circumstances affect their self-love and/or self-worth. Resist the temptation to be envious, as it will get you nowhere. If anything, let other people motivate you to achieve certain goals for yourself.


6. CARRY YOURSELF LIKE A LADY.

Embrace that which makes you a woman, and by all means, take advantage of the privileges that we have. Force men around you to treat you with the respect they would their mother, aunt or sister. Insist that your doors be opened for you, order your food first in a restaurant, and sit in the front seat if you are the only female in the car. There is nothing wrong with being 'pleasantly demanding'. Along with the privilege of womanhood comes a certain responsibility. Being a true 'lady' means you exhibit manners that would make your grandmother proud, your clothes are tasteful and appropriate for your age, and your hair and nails are always clean. These little things make a big difference in n how you are viewed by outsiders, and the quality of men that you attract.


5. KEEP UP WITH CURRENT EVENTS.

Staying in touch with what's going on in the world is very important. Not only is it important to be aware of national and global issues, it makes you a lot more interesting to others because you always have something to talk about. It doesn't take much to watch the news, read the newspaper online, or buy an issue of TIME magazine or Newsweek. Don't forget - parents and teachers are a great source of information on current events, and would love to have a conversation with you about something 'serious'.


4. Travel.

Do you have a passport? If not, get one. Before you are saddled with the responsibilities of a job and a family, take advantage of your freedom and travel. Instead of buying a new outfit, buy a plane ticket. See other parts of the world and observe other cultures. More importantly, have fun! Plan a trip with a friend to a social event in another city, a beach on an island, or a city in a foreign country. Capture your memories with photos or in a diary (or a blog). You will cherish them forever.


3. Be Proud To Be Black.

Black culture and heritage is based on strength, perseverance, and rich talents. You should have an overwhelming sense of cultural pride - as black people, we are so very special. Don't EVER feel as if you aren't equal to another person simply because you're black. If you have any question as to the importance of black people to our society, or how smart, beautiful, talented, funny and fascinating we are, start reading. Watch old movies. Read plays. Go see plays. Buy tickets for dance and musical performances. Seek opportunities to study academic topics involving, or related to, black people. Talk to your relatives that lived through some of the historical events you've heard about. Get on the Internet and study people with whom you're familiar. Keep in mind, black pride doesn't mean exclusion of others. It is most impressive when you seek to educate other cultures about the beauty and greatness of being black.


2. Have a Cause.

As long as you're here, it is your duty as a human being to help make the world a better place. Let your natural talents and passion lead you to an issue that keeps your attention, and to which you can commit your time and money. Get involved with groups that already exist. If your particular cause is new or unique, start your own group and make your friends join. Helping others is an easy way to feel good about yourself, and invest in the future of your community.


1. Love Yourself.

This is #1 and most important, yet challenging, mission to accomplish. Self-love is critical to survival at any age, and may be quite a personal journey. Loving yourself means recognizing, developing and honouring a sense of self-worth. Loving yourself means you have zero tolerance for anyone or anything that doesn't love you and respect you. Loving yourself also means you must treat yourself well, simply because no one else will do it for you

I Think This Applies To You

I Think This Applies To You

A good woman is proud of herself. She respects herself and others. She is aware of who she is. She neither seeks definition from the person she is with, nor does she expect them to read her mind. She is quite capable of articulating her needs. A good woman is hopeful. She is strong enough to make all her dreams come true. She knows love, therefore she gives love. She recognizes that her love has great value and must be reciprocated. If her love is taken for granted, it soon disappears. A good woman has a dash of inspiration, a dabble of endurance. She knows that she will, at times, have to inspire others to reach their God given potentials.

A good woman knows her past, understands her present and moves toward the future.

A good woman knows God. She knows that in God, the world can be her playground, but without God she will just be played. A good woman does not live in fear of the future because of her past. Instead, she understands that her life experiences are merely lessons, meant to bring her closer to self knowledge and unconditional self love.

BEST FRIEND

BEST FRIEND

Last night you and your best friend had a fight. You decide not to talk to
her the next day.

She smiles at you. You grind your teeth at her.

She tells her friends nice things about you. You spread bad rumors about her.

She tries to come and talk to you. But you push her aside.

She thinks you are a great friend. You think she is a terrible friend.

She writes nice notes to you, telling you about the best times you shared together. You write about all the bad times you can remember experiencing together.

Deep down you know she's sorry. But all you have is hate.

The next day you find a note. It reads:

Dear -------------,

I tried to tell you yesterday, but you didn't let me speak, I tried to tell you good things, but you were afraid to hear them. I tried to smile at you, to take away the hate. But now it's time to tell you, even though it's a bit late. That I am dying.

I have a bad condition and it is getting worse. I'm sorry to have to tell you that I won't be able to see you today. I wrote this to you today in the hospital. My time is up. I'm sorry I should have told you sooner. I'm really sorry about our argument; you are such a great friend. I promise I shall watch over you,

Lots of love

-------------

You run to the hospital to tell her you are sorry,

But only her mum is left.

Her hand clasped over her face.

And she was crying. Down on her knees she prays, for her daughter to come back.

You are too late.

You wish you told her sorry sooner and got to say goodbye.

All friends have their ups and downs, and sometimes you need to say sorry... Don't wait for the other person to do it first.

Because you never know what could happen.

-- Author Unknown

A Prayer for Today

A Prayer for Today

Father in heaven, I trust that You are willing and able to make a way where there seems to be no way in my life. Fill me with Your peace and faith and give me a vision for all You have for me. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

You are Necessary by Bilal

*Inspired by "Love Walked In" by Marisa de los Santos

**This is a work of fiction -Written by Bilal (brutha66@yahoo.com)

There are those in our lives who come and go and at some level that
is fine.

But there are those in our lives who come in and realize how
necessary they are to our lives and to our daily existence as it is
knowing them that makes the journey a little bit smoother.

Not easy, but smoother (smile).

You are one of those people who have become necessary to my life and
for that I am truly grateful.

I am also so many other things but my mind is swimming with emotions
and I can only attach "grateful" at this time but give me time
(smile).

In knowing you and with you being necessary to my life it shines a
light that possibly and matter-of-factly that I am necessary to your
daily existence as well and you know what? That has my heart doing
cartwheels. Yes, cartwheels and maybe a back flip but I am 35 so I
am not as spry as I used to be but for you I will most certainly try.

All I ask is that if I fall you come and give me a hand. See, how
necessary you are? (LOL).

I love you with all of my being and at times I may not say it enough
but in our history you know why that is the case but let me at this
opportune let you know that I love you and that you are necessary to
my life.

There are days when we go at it but after the storm we come together
in forgiveness and in love.

No, we did not go to pre-school or to the same elementary school or
were childhood friends but two people who met one day at an outing 5
years ago and from that time to present you have become a necessary
part of my life and one that I cherish each and every day.

It is like I have known you all of my life although you and I both
know the truth but with you it feels that way and how you have come
not just into my life but have become a part of me.

You are necessary to me and I am thankful to God above for blessing
me and knowing my needs in providing me someone such as yourself.

Think

Think

If you think you are beaten, you are;
If you think you dare not, you don't;
If you'd like to win but you think you can't,
You can almost be certain you won't.

If you think that you'll lose, you are lost,
For out in the world you will find
Success begins with a person's will;
It's all in the state of the mind.

If you think you're outclassed you are;
You've got to think high to rise.
You've just got to be sure of yourself
Before you can win the prize.

Life's battles don't always go
To a stronger or faster man (or woman) - I added this one in ;)
But sooner or later the person who wins
Is the person that THINKS they can.
- Anon.

God Today Devotions April 7, 2008

God Today Devotions April 7, 2008

Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life. Proverbs 4:23

The secrets of our heart are revealed in our actions. We may appear to be strong, and capable, sweet and kind, but there may be turmoil, strife, jealousy or anger buried deep within. Regardless of how we may try to hide our feelings they will eventually become visible in our lives. We must guard our hearts, placing them in the hands of God allowing Him to heal the brokenness and fill it with His goodness. Our hearts are naturally corrupt but when God dwells within us He changes them and fills them with His goodness. We must be willing to ask God to look deep within our hearts, to clean them and to heal them.

Prayer:

Search my heart Lord and remove all that is not You. I open my heart and ask that You fill it with Your treasure and help me to protect it always. May my heart always hunger for You, saturate it with Your love. You are my heart's desire.

Amen.

Live.... and enoy LIFE!

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will.

You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love.

So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.

Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.

AWESOME QUOTE!!!

'Never allow someone to be your Priority while allowing yourself to be their Option'

I have used a quote similar to this one as a signature. This is SO true!

It is not healthy to make someone that doesn't give two hoots about you a priority when all they see you is an 'occasional' option.... I can write more but I'd better stop here lol!

i carry your heart with me....

i carry your heart with me
(i carry it in my heart)
i am never without it
(anywhere i go you go,my dear;
and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)

i fear not fate
(for you are my fate,my sweet)
i want no world
(for beautiful you are my world, my true) and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows (here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows higher than soul can hope or mind can hide) and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

***

by: e.e. cummings


Life is not measured by the breaths you take...but by the moments that take your breath away....