Friday, March 6, 2009
Excerpts from the promotion of Steve Harvey's book 'Act Like A Lady,
Think Like A Man', Oprah's 2/27/9 show, where he was a 15-minute guest.
He said the book is the only thing he initially did for free, as a gift
to women. He did not expect in his wildest dreams that it would make the
"Every man has a plan. A man does not lock eyes with you from across the
room or approach you just to talk, he has a plan. He saw something he
wants. This attempt at conversation is to find out how much it will cost
him. It is not only about money, but other things like how much time
must be invested, what does she want from me, what are her standards.
Because men will rise to the occasion, no matter how high the bar is
set, it's just that women keep lowering the bar, lowering their
standards. Women are complicated, they keep talking to each other, but
men are very simple. Men need only three things: support, loyalty and
He says if a man introduces you as his friend or just says your name,
with no title - you have nothing. Men are very protective, they mark
their territory. If a man loves you, he's willing to profess it. After
a while, he'll give you a title - his woman, his lady, his fiancé, his
baby mama, some title. If after three months he is still introducing
you by your name only, you have nothing.. The man who truly has feelings
for you will give you a title. This is his way of letting everyone
within the sound of his voice know he is proud of being with you and he
has plans for you.
Every man has a plan. He tells of one the times his father-in-law was
visiting and interrogated the boyfriend of one of his twins.. They had
dated four or five times and he asks what are his plan for his
granddaughter. After stumbling and stuttering, he finally mumbles out
that they are just kicking it. So Steve says, that's cool. Let's just
bring my daughter in now and inform her that she is just being "kicked"
- that you two are just "kicking it" and let's see if that's what she
just wants to do. They broke up the next day.
Steve says men are fishermen, either for sport or for food. Women must
determine which kind of fish they want to be. If you don't want to be
continuously hooked and thrown back, just for sport, you must present
your standards, you must stop lowering them, you must present your
requirements. Then if you are hooked, the man knows you are about
business. In other words, when you're hooked, he must know that you are
eventually going home with him, not back into the water. It is the
woman that is in control - of everything. The man cannot hold your hand
unless you let him, he cannot kiss you unless you let him and he
certainly cannot make love to you unless you let him. Now, with all that
power, why do you suddenly relinquish it, just because you want a guy to
accept you? Keep your standards where they are! Say to him, if you want
to be with me, this is what it takes. He can hook you, but he should not
be able to reel you in without meeting your standards.
A woman SKYPE's in via satellite with a question for Steve: "When
should a woman have sex the first time in a new relationship?" Steve
cites, as an example, when he once worked on the assembly line at Ford
Motor Co., where there was a probation period for new employees. Like a
lot of large companies, only after 90 days do you qualify for a benefit
package - before allowed to get dental, medical, get my eyes checked.
Within those days I was being checked out - whether I was easy to get
along with, to work with, whether I was reliable, showing up on time, if
I was worthy. Then, and only then, do you get the benefits. Why do
women, who possess the greatest benefits package of all, pass it out so
quickly to unworthy guys? Slow down ladies, you cannot run us off, if
we want you! And know that men are aware of the fact that you change
the rules - when you are desperate, when you think there is a shortage
of good men out there. And we play on it. We created terms like 'gold
digger' so you don't ask for money; the term 'nagging', so that you
don't badger us. We created these terms so that you will require less of
us. God has given all women this incredible gift called intuition. Get
in a guy's face, look in his eyes, use that intuition! 'Old School' is
not dead, chivalry is not dead, it is just not being required anymore.